Bensley's Nomad

God Provides

2005-04-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

You all may already know that I have had a desire for awhile now to go back overseas. I have been researching programs online and trying to figure out a way to break into the relief or aid work business. The costs are higher than I can manage in most cases and that kind of puts a damper on things. Lately, though, I've been thinking I should be going overseas in a missions capacity like I did last time and recommitting that part of my life to God.

It's funny, as soon as I started thinking along those lines the promise of an opportunity presented itself. I was talking to my mom and she mentioned that our church in Muskegon is having a missions focus this week in the hopes of raising the interest of its own members to commit to short-term missions projects. Apparently, the church raises more money than it takes to support our missionaries and they want to use the excess to send some of their own members on projects. I think it is a good idea.

Of course, all of this is just in the beginning stages and I know nothing solid at this time, but the prospect makes me very excited and thankful. But, if this doesn't work out I am confident that something will. God does not give you a desire for nothing.

In other news: my back still hurts, but not as much. Praise the Lord!

I am also in need of a partner for outdoor activities such as biking, kayaking, hiking, rollerblading. Please let me know if you are interested in pursuing these activities at a beginner's level. :)

Back to Back

2005-04-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I have successfully pulled my back and joined the tens of thousands of other nursing assistants who have done the same. There wasn't an event, per se. I just started feeling discomfort when I bent over which grew into pain. And it really does hurt. Not severely, but still.... I had to call in to work today, but I had to go to my work building twice. Once to get authorization to see the doctor at Occupational Health Services and once to give them the doctor's orders.

So...I have fatigued a lumbar muscle by over use (big surprise there) and I am now on restrictions until Monday when I have another appointment with that doctor. I'm basically back to being an ancillary aide passing water, feeding and anything else that doesn't require lifting. That would be fine except they're insisting I work day shift so tomorrow I have to be at work at 7:30 in the morning. I am NOT happy about that, but I guess it is nice they have a program that allows you to work and get hours at your regular pay even when you are injured. I'm hoping that with a lot of rest this weekend I will be better by next week.

The most comfortable position is lying flat on my back with my knees up, so that's how I am right now and will be for the foreseeable future.

I'll keep you posted.

Perseverance

2005-04-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

I was told recently that people are still checking this blog in the faint hope that I have written something new. I thought that everyone had long since stopped visiting. It makes me very happy that people still care.

Thoughts about work: I need to find a job that's a little easier on my back. I woke up today with lower back pain and had to take some ibuprofen. I have been on the heaviest section at work for the past couple of days and it is started to get me. I have recently applied to a couple of jobs at hospitals for which I am technically qualified, but it will be some time, I believe, before I get an interview anywhere. I think I will apply to jobs both here in Ann Arbor and in Grand Rapids and see what happens.

More to come....

Direction

2004-12-11T13:24:00.000-08:00

Last week I signed up to sponsor a child through World Vision. Her name is Mary, she is eight and she lives in Kenya. I can't wait to start writing letters to her and hearing from her what her life is like. Perhaps one day I will even visit her. After I signed up I took some time frolicking about on World Vision's website and realized that I would love to work for an organization like that - a Christian relief organization. This thought lines right up with my previous ramblings about what I would do with millions of dollars.

So I was thinking....get a degree in a health profession - as quickly as possible - and start doing what I want to do. Just do it.

I'm also learning a lot about the health problems in Africa. HIV/AIDS is the most devastating. I always ignored the problem before; I guess I just wasn't that interested, but there is a lot of information out there about the pandemic (and also about the western world's lack of attention.) There is a lot I did not know.

I remember back at Hillsdale that Sandy Wisner and Megan Prahl (and others) went to Uganda with Jennie Dangers to work at an orphanage filled with kids whose parents died of AIDS. I would like to do that now.

But not a real green dress, that's cruel

2004-11-21T00:30:00.000-08:00

I heard that Barenaked Ladies song on the radio recently...."If I Had a Million Dollars." It started me thinking. What would I do with a million dollars, really, if it showed up tomorrow?

This may not be too incredibly original, but I really think this is how it would go. First, I would go quit my job. Then I think, wait, I need that direct patient care experience if I'm going to get into a PA program. And I would definitely still want to do something with my life.....

While I debate how I could make a difference in the world, I would begin buying property, building houses and selling them, which would bring in a nice little profit, starting small, but growing the enterprise into a self-sustaining and practically self-multiplying venture.

I would then use my oodles of money to start my own Christian, international health organization that would bring arsenic-free water to the people of Bangladesh and supplies to the AIDS orphanages in Uganda. I would spend my life traveling the globe, meeting the physical and spiritual needs of those the Lord brings within the organization's reach.

That sounds so wonderful, and perhaps a bit over reaching. Hmmm.......Maybe I should go into missions. I don't need a million dollars to do that.

What would you do with a million dollars, really?

The Secret's Out

2004-11-16T11:59:00.000-08:00

It was never really a secret I guess, but I wasn't going to post about it. However, most of you already know I have a new boyfriend, which is why I haven't been posting much. It's just so much more fun to spend time with him than to sit in front of a computer. This is the happiest I have been in a long time. (At least since September :) )

On a different note, I read recently in Scientific American that researchers are coming close to developing a heart "patch," a piece of cardiac tissue engineered to replace sections of dead heart muscle. Some people I have talked to are all for this, some are staunchly against tissue engineering because we shouldn't be playing God. I'm not totally certain what my position is, but I can't help but think that God, the almighty, omniscient Creator will not allow us to play God. That is, He will not allow us to go in directions we shouldn't. The methods and research just won't work because we are not God and cannot create as He did. On the other hand, God allows us to do things in our daily lives we shouldn't do and we must make the choice to leave certain things alone.

Do you think that we should pursue tissue engineering research to its limits, trusting God to remain in control or do you think we should pull back, being careful not to tread where we do not belong? This is a big question, but do you all have any thoughts? Even fragmented ones? :)

My Apologies

2004-11-12T10:25:00.000-08:00

Well everyone, I am sorry I haven't been posting. I have not had much free time lately because of my two jobs and the incessant pile of dishes. :) I have had time to make some new friends at work and I'm really settling into my job.

My friends from high school are again talking about our annual Christmas gathering. The group has gotten together every December since our freshman year in college. It is a wonderful way to keep in touch and see everyone. I have missed it twice. Once because I was in North Carolina and once because of inclement weather. I am really looking forward to it this year. I can't believe Christmas is just next month!

Here's to posting more and more interestingly....

Last month's thoughts on Fall

2004-10-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

This was a draft I saved earlier. I was going to add something to it, but I might as well just post it.

I am enjoying fall a lot this year. This is a big change for me because in the past I have always viewed autumn as heralding the bitter cold and grey skies of winter. This month, though, I believe has been beautiful. Sunny skies, gorgeously dressed trees, crisp air. It's like I've never lived through fall before. I think I feel this way because I didn't really experience a fall last year when I lived in North Carolina. It felt (and looked) like summer until November, then it was suddenly cold and wintery. There were no leaves to turn and fall because Hurricane Isabel had knocked them to the ground in the middle of September.

Once a Harry Fan....

2004-10-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

As a gift for being a bridesmaid Kara gave me a $20 gift card to Borders. Fun fact: the first Borders store was in downtown Ann Arbor. Anyway, I used the card to buy myself a Harry Connick, Jr. CD. This really shouldn't surprise any of you, but I was very excited. I haven't had any disposable income to speak of for awhile and Harry has put out three albums that I haven't been able to purchase. Thanks to Kara I am now only two behind and I think I'll be able to catch up this year. Thank you Kara!!

The album I bought is titled Songs I Heard, and it is full of Harry's unique renditions of some of his favorite childhood songs. They are all from musicals like Annie, The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and even though they are all really familiar to me, they sound so fresh and exciting in the new, jazzed up versions. I think it's a wonderful idea to take these "children's songs" and treat them as fully grown and complex pieces. Harry highlights the songwriters' talents by bringing out the nuances of the works and I believe the new renditions honor the musicals and give the listener something more to appreciate about each piece. More simply, though, the album is just plain fun to listen to. Of course I recommend it. No one should be surprised about that either.

Ingrid drove up to Ann Arbor today to see me and my new apartment. She said she loved it and that it "screams Carrie." I am glad. It is not perfect, but neither am I, so we work well together. My apartment, my new Harry cd and me. The perfect combination. :)

Pop-ups and Reunions

2004-10-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Last week I clicked on some link (I don't even remember where) and something downloaded. Now I have a major problem with pop-ups. They never bothered me before, but now almost every time I load a page I have to close four or five pop-ups. Btw, I think they deserve a much more foul name. Does anyone have any advice for me as to how to end this annoyance? I've heard of pop-up blockers. Do I need one? Are they costly? Is that the only option? I'd appreciate any emails or comments on the subject.

On another note, I ran into an acquaintance from high school today quite randomly. Lisa Hopkins and I were never good friends but we knew many of the same people and it was fun to see her. We talked mainly about what we were doing, of course, and our high school reunion which will take place in 2008. I was a class officer my senior year so I feel like I should keep up with these things. I know that 2008 is still over three years away, but it still seems way too soon to be having a 10 year reunion. It made me feel old and unaccomplished, but then I reminded myself of how happy I am right now and continued on with my day.

Wedding # 3

2004-10-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

There are dishes waiting to be done so here I am back at the blog. I'm starting to see a pattern here.

Most of you probably know, but this weekend is Kara's wedding. This is the third wedding of the season for me and I can't believe that all the wedding preparations, dress fittings, gift shopping, and traveling is almost over for the year. It was fun, but I'm glad it's winding down.

I'm so excited for Kara. She's getting married and going to Hawaii all in one week. Yay!

The bridesmaid dress is strapless once again. I have made no attempt to hide my dislike for straplessness, not even to Kara. They really should be called topless since they're missing the top, but that's a little beside the point.

Today in my class we all learned the correct way to take blood pressure. After completing the skill with my normal has-everything-together partner I allowed another girl to practice on my other arm. She did it wrong and left blood blisters on my arm. It was incredibly annoying because I'll be in that strapless dress this weekend. Hopefully they will fade by then and nothing will come of it.

Book update: I have put down Chekhov for awhile and have started Main Street by Sinclair Lewis. It's an American novel about the provincial attitudes in small towns. I grew up in a small town so I'll be interested to see what Lewis has to say. Also, it seems like a good story. It should be fun.

Books on my Mind

2004-10-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

There are dishes in my sink that need doing so I'm online (it's logical) and my mind drifts toward literature currently, so in the spirit of Anthony's post on Toyah, here's what I've been reading.

I'm back into my collection of Anton Chekhov's short stories. He's often called the father of the short story which amazes me in itself. Imagine creating an art form and expressing yourself in a way no one had thought of before! I love Chekhov for his close examination of the human soul and his extraordinary ability to draw you into the perspective of the character utterly and completely. Of course, I have a thing for Russian literature, so beware if you don't like the the Russian style in general.

Other Russian authors I've read lately: Dostoevsky. I love his novels. I most recently finished Crime and Punishment, and if you're thinking of reading any of Dostoevsky's books I suggest trying this one first. The plot moves along more quickly than The Idiot and it is less confusing than The Brothers Karamazov.

I would also recommend The Case for a Creator to all of you. The book details how current scientific evidence points toward a creator, not away from one as contemporary culture would have you believe. It is eye-opening, inspiring, and gave me new reasons to thank God. Read it!

Miracle

2004-09-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

There is a man with brain cancer who goes to my mom's church in Muskegon. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago. At the time he was told he didn't have many options and the outlook wasn't good. He underwent aggressive treatment and, against all odds, his cancer went into remission. Eventually he became well enough he thought he would go back to work. Everyone was so happy for him and they praised God for his remarkable recovery.

Then, just a few months ago, after he had been at work for two weeks, his cancer came back and began spreading through his brain even faster than before. His wife was devastated. The doctors gave him a choice: live out his few remaining months and prepare for the end, or undergo a very risky brain surgery which would probably leave him a shell of his former self or perhaps even a vegetable.

He chose the surgery. Before he went to the hospital the entire church gathered around him, laid hands on him and prayed for him. I know, too, that most kept him in their daily prayers. The church still prays for him every time they come together.

That was a couple months ago. He has now recovered from surgery and has lost no brain function. The cancer is gone and he is feeling so well physically, that he's thinking about going back to work again. Of course, the doctors have no explanation.

This is a miracle in my book. Praise God!

Mr. Barry and the Social Worker, Yo

2004-09-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

I have met some fun and interesting people at my new job. A few of them are co-workers, but most of them are residents of the nursing center. Take, for instance, Mr. Barry. He's the nicest man I've met in a long time. He's always polite and thanking you for something. The thing is, he sounds just like Mr. Bean. Well, I suppose Mr. Bean didn't talk much, but think of Rowan Atkinson's character in Rat Race. Sounds just like him! It cracks me up every time he opens his mouth and of course I can't laugh so I have to bite my tongue, literally. I think I'll have permanent teeth marks there before the year's out.

Marie Johnson is in the center for rehab and is going back home next weekend. She spent most of her professional life at Child and Family Services in Muskegon. Small world. She loves getting to know people and she can find out your whole life history in ten minutes. Sharp lady.

Yoshiko Nagamatsu is a quiet, but sweet elderly Japanese woman with absolutely no accent. She goes by the nickname 'Yo' but on my first day I just thought everyone was really comfortable with her. I heard people say "Do you want your dinner, Yo?" "What's up, Yo?" "Yo, are you ready?" Even now that I know what's going on it still makes me chuckle.

I just wanted you all to know.

Bensley's Woods

2004-09-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

Probably most of you understood the second half of my blog's title. I don't stay in one place very long. In fact, I get restless soon after I get settled. However, several of you have asked me to explain the "Bensley's" part, so here I go. I will try to be brief.

Since I can remember I have frequently visited my grandparents in South Haven. They live out in the country one mile from Lake Michigan, and the air there is the freshest I have ever breathed. Across the old country road from them is an undeveloped 40-acre tract of land owned by the Bensley family. Mr. Bensley passed away before my time, but his sons don't want to sell and it has stayed pretty much the same my entire life.

Bensley's Woods, as we called it growing up, was a wonderland to me as a child. My cousins and I would spend hours and hours there during our visits to Grandma's and we would always make a trip to the "climbing tree," often with my Grandma who climbed part way up with us. (The tradition didn't end until after she had climbed it on her 70th birthday.) Today the place is still special to me because it shows me that some things don't have to change all that much.

During all of my wanderings from town to town, school to school, and state to state, the one constant has been my grandparents' house and Bensley's Woods. It seemed only right that I should be called Bensley's nomad.

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

2004-09-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about that adage today. I started my new job today and I love it, but just a few short months ago I would never have been able to guess I'd be here in Ann Arbor, in this apartment with this job. I could never have predicted how content I would be with these things. I thank the Lord that I am not in charge of planning my life and that He is in control. He always provides for my needs, and I see that in the end, even if in the midst of changes I cannot comprehend what is going on. There is nothing more comforting than knowing He is there and nothing more joyful than looking back and seeing how He worked everything out each step of the way.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19 (NKJV)

To Insure or Not to Insure

2004-09-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

I will be beginning a new job Tuesday and this week I had to fill out the mounds of paperwork that always accompany such a transition. W-2's....dress code policies....direct deposit requests, etc. Most important to me, however, were the pages explaining heathcare benefits. One of the reasons I switched jobs was to get better benefits and I was really quite excited about signing up. Then came the inevitable catch. (In my life there does seem to be significant inevitable catches in all events.) I was told that they could not guarantee full-time status and that if I only recieved part-time status I would be on a 32-hour schedule. The woman from human resources assured me that if I was part-time I could easily pick up an extra day a week to make 40 hours since there are always call-ins and unforseen events.

How does this translate into benefits for me? The cost for full-time employees is about $20 out of each paycheck. Part-time employees must fork over $71 and change twice a month for the same coverage. Basically, they hire you in as part-time, get full-time hours out of you (if you need to work to pay bills like me) and save a load of money in the benefits department. If you decide not to sign up because it's too expensive they save even more and you're left with no insurance.

This smells fishy to me. I know companies have to stay afloat but there is something definetly wrong when people working full-time cannot afford health insurance.

Statistics indicate that the majority of America's uninsured are gainfully employed, many full-time. They simply cannot buy the expensive health insurance offered by their employers.

There has to be a better way. My new interest is healthcare policy. I'm sure there will be future posts on the subject. Stay tuned.

Compromise?

2004-09-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent my last day with the Indian couple I have been working for. Mohan and Prem are wonderfully nice people, but sometimes I have trouble reconciling their interactions and unspoken rules with the way I think a marriage should work. I suppose I don't need to reconcile them, but sometimes I want to protest.

Yesterday, for instance, Prem (the wife, in case you are as unfamiliar with Indian names as I was when I began working with them) was feeling particularly ill. She was experiencing incredible back pain and had not slept well in days. She was trying to take a nap on the floor, hoping the firmness would allow her to rest when her husband came in seeming somewhat agitated. They spoke to each other a while in Hindi then he announced a little too triumphantly, "See Carrie, we have compromised. I want her to make tea now at three and she wants to wait until four o'clock. We will have it at three-thirty. A compromise."

It did not seem like much of a compromise to me. Everyday around three or three thirty the couple "takes" tea in true British fashion. But this time Prem didn't want to make tea; she was in great pain and wanted to rest. And of course Mohan could not make it. He is the man. It is not his job.

Prem did get up to make the tea, but it was closer to four than three thirty, which made me smile.

Now, Mohan is a good man. He does not abuse his wife and he is good natured, but he reminds me how very grateful I am for the equality, albeit imperfect equality, women enjoy in America. Here calling your husband by his first name is not showing disrespect and women can choose to make tea... or not.

I don't mean to criticize the Indian culture. The people of India do not need to justify themselves to me. I am merely glad I'm American and wanted to say "thank-you" to all the women who came before me and took a stand for my sake and for all those who will follow.

A Fitting First

2004-09-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

Since there have been many changes and many firsts in my life recently, including a new apartment, a new job, a new town, and cable internet at home for the first time ever I thought it would be fitting to begin my first blog. It may be ordinary, it may be short-lived, but it will be mine. So here's to firsts and new beginnings.